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After nearly a week in San Francisco, there is much to consider. Strangely enough, I came across the last Urbane Studies column I wrote for SFist.com tonight, while getting together some old files. 

I suppose I would have liked to have rewritten it, the beginning seeming to have come out breathlessly impatient to tell some truth. And so it is, the latter part of it speaks a truth that is as close as I probably ever came to what I wanted to say about how I felt about having loved and lived in that great city, only to learn that I needed to leave it. 

Writing is dissimulation, and even when I said what I meant, I relied on the complicity of a wordy disguise. Few I worked with knew what I did, and still fewer know as time and distance multiply. After my own fashion, I don’t often re-read what I’ve done, but I want to know that it still means what I meant it to mean.
What else can you hope for, if you’re writing your way out of town?

This is, as ever, the Ouroboros: go to the end to find my beginning. 

    • #San Francisco
    • #urban studies
    • #Tenderloin Geographic Society
  • 1 year ago
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I’m honored to be a guest on BFF.fm’s Burrito Justice radio Tuesday, February 24, at noon. 

Possible topics of conversation:

What happened, San Francisco?
Burrito bowls of Seattle.
Tunnel boring machines as sea monsters.
What life’s really like in the former Shingle Capital of the World.
It doesn’t rain all the time and you don’t have to go to Starbucks.

Please, feel free to suggest/or ask questions via twitter.  

    • #bff.com
    • #burrito justice
    • #San Francisco
    • #compare and contrast
  • 1 year ago
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Who documents the documentarians? Says Mark Ellinger,  
“Filmmakers Erin Crysdale and Kyle Maack are working on a documentary about me and my work. Even though we have really only just begun shooting, they put together a very short teaser just to whet your appetite. I’m delighted to be working with them. Have a look, and please share your feedback.” 


 

    • #San Francisco
    • #friends
    • #documentary
    • #Tenderloin
  • 2 years ago
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My friends needed a lullaby to sing to their child

Said friends are in the business of making food and starting a distillery, and are raising their child in San Francisco. This seemed the most appropriate song, terrible rhyme structure notwithstanding.

TACOS FOR YOU, BURRITOS FOR ME

Who’s got a craving for cilantro?
Who wants to get something to go?
It’s true the enchilada is tex-mex food,
so are burritos, but they’re still good!
Let’s eat something from South of the Slot
No one calls it that but I still like it—a lot!

Tacos for you, burritos for me
Chiles are hot, curtido’s spicy!
It may not be from Mexico but it’s like home,
tacos and burritos and tortas, ho-hum.

We could get pupusas, chapulines, mole—
or maybe some menudo? Oh, no!
Sometimes you want something simple and right,
something you could eat and eat all night!

Tacos for you, burritos for me
Chiles are spicy, curtido’s spicy!
It may not be like Mexico but it tastes like home,
tacos, burritos, tortas oh yum!

How far I am from the food that I love,
feels even further from friends I often think of,
but when I find my favorite food I could swear it’s just like home.
Oh give me simple food instead of molecular uni-cider foam!

    • #friends
    • #San Francisco
  • 2 years ago
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After a fashion, you could imagine the place was telling you to fuck off.
Go on then, so you think you can do better? The walls cave in, destroy your art books, ruin your fancy pasta, as has happened everywhere you’ve ever lived. And this time is different how?
So you leave one city for another.
Now you don’t have a steady job but you smell trees wherever you go. Even the trash here smells like the woods, it doesn’t rain all the time, and out your kitchen window the antenna towers of Queen Anne blink like festive twins. Why did no one tell me about the big fake tree of lights that gets planted atop the Space Needle?
Snow is expected Thursday night.
If your apartment begins bleeding dirty water, beware, you could end up in Seattle, freezing, happy.

    • #archives
    • #San Francisco
    • #one year ago
  • 2 years ago
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Q: Why would anyone want to live in san francisco anymore, I mean it is no longer 1969. I was there back in the days, when every time you stepped outside your door it was a new adventure. You could rent the top of a house for 125 a month and live across the street from jan wenner.

Anonymous

This is a fair question for someone who hasn’t lived in San Francisco for quite some time, and perhaps one that I shouldn’t feel adequately equipped to answer, as I left that dear city owing to a distinct set of frustrations: cost of living, a growing unfriendliness and lack of concern for others, that much of the small and interesting was being pushed out in favor of the bland and expensive. Much of this yes, probably has to do with the dominant shift catering to an industry where you move for the money, regardless of your feelings for a place. San Francisco, when I moved there in the late 90s, was similarly situated. Then, if you wanted to live there, you made it work: you dug in and did so because you loved the place, or more specifically the idea of the place.
And yet: no one can truly live in a  city if they hew to the myopia of a hoped-for landscape, of a history that was and never again will be. Living in the memory of place is not so much living as aping what has come before, and whether part of the myth of the west or Manifest Destiny, San Francisco is most often approached for the history that one make. The rub comes when respect and awareness of precedent meets with a lack of care. And the blank stare is all the more offensive for your passion.

But you do bring up an interesting point, that anyone who comes to a place is, to some extent, looking for something. Me, I felt that it was a place I could get some work done. This was laughed off by a writer I knew in Los Angeles, who found otherwise during his early ’70s tenure. This neatly explains why he moved from SF to Los Angeles, where the question most often posed to a writer (when I lived there, at least) was “television or film?” In Los Angeles you were mostly left alone, whereas in San Francisco, the closeness of the city creates a kind of friction, perhaps the adventure of which you speak. As a native of a city that lacked a definable center, San Francisco was a means unto itself: it was a city sure of itself and its place in history, and what is more attractive to a young person?

It is still possible, this adventure, but even Herb Caen, interviewing a hippie outside the Drogstore (now Magnolia Pub), found that the young men came for the chicks, not for the enlightened atmosphere. Now the Bay Area is as it has been so many times in history, a place to find gold. Without question it has merits beyond its place in the business world, but in an environment where such values become all, the value system itself changes. Cities are not museums, despite our inclinations to make them so. But they are also places of organized chaos, and perhaps the chaos as you knew it has decreased. Jann Wenner picked up on a particular set of values and created a mythos through his magazine, just as ascendant tech companies hope to create a mythos based on monetizing, among other aspects, social concerns.

To speak about what currently counts for adventure, it is the kind that plagues places of great disparity. That there is more of a divide between those who can afford the place (or do so barely) and those who cannot results in crime. It also creates fear. As you might have gathered, I spent considerable time in the Tenderloin, where I saw both unimaginable offenses and acts of incredible grace. Many of my TL-based colleagues thought that tech would change the neighborhood for the better—I didn’t think so. What it would do is create a climate in which those who didn’t know how to properly occupy a city would meet those who were trapped by it. Whether I’m a pessimist remains on the table. The companies that are changing San Francisco can do so in a way that will leave a positive mark in history. They can take a stake in cultural, educational, and social institutions. Or, they can continue to ship their employees out to work, and bring them home to play in a place they take little stake in—until some of them fall in love with the place and force change, because that’s how it works.

I never owned the city, my adopted city, and never claimed ownership—but I couldn’t fault someone when they said it was their city. For something so beautiful, how could you not want to claim it for your own? San Francisco is like that. Forgive me for going on a bit longer than I’d intended.
In my new home, I have been spending so much time on the future present that I haven’t adequately reflected on what I left, and what I still don’t regret leaving. Nothing is fixed, and while the current iteration of San Francisco leaves much to be desired—by both of us, it would seem—I don’t think for a second that it’s so fragile that it will be ruined.

    • #San Francisco
    • #breaking the 4th wall
  • 2 years ago
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Are these big bad men bothering  you, sweetheart?

    • #San Francisco
    • #from the archives
    • #architecture
    • #in retrospect
  • 2 years ago
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Forget the nose, overlook the weak chin: Market Street is in possession of a most regal forehead.

    • #scenic vista
    • #san francisco
  • 3 years ago
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“This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence—even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it.”
–Friedrich Nietzsche on the San Francisco rental market

    • #it's the economy stupid
    • #real estate
    • #books
    • #san francisco
  • 3 years ago
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San Franciscans who cross the Bay to take pictures of their city are like pretty girls who prefer you wear mirrored glasses.  All the better to see you, my darling. 

    • #scenic vista
    • #San Francisco
  • 4 years ago
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Was lucky enough to be asked to share an origin story for SF Curbed’s compelling Rental Week coverage.  Next I hope we get a look into everyone’s closets. 

    • #linkage
    • #san francisco
    • #real estate
  • 4 years ago
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In this episode, Lt. Mike Stone makes a pretty girl cry. 

    • #streets of
    • #san francisco
    • #screen grab
  • 4 years ago
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Our Fair City, By Charles Raudebaugh

“The good Dr. Pangloss, in demonstration of his thesis that this is the best of all possible worlds, argued that since we had stockings, legs were made to fit them.  The beldam, San Francisco, sitting in her red plush box at the opera, agrees with a sly wink.  She pinches her snuff, scratches a fleabite, adjusts her whalebone neckband, folds her hands, and goes to sleep as the curtain rises.

Is it not so that since the days of the mud paths before gold was discovered the streets of San Francisco have always been poor and inadequate?  Housing insufficient?  No space for merchants?  Municipal government poor?  Is this not San Francisco?  From Telegraph Hill you can see hundreds of ships in the Bay; they are here because there has been a war.  Pouf!  There were as many ships in the Bay when the Gold Rush was on. 

Yes, it perhaps was a little indelicate of the old United Railroads to send its representative so openly to the City Hall with his cardboard suit box of cash to pay off the Board of Supervisors for a street railway franchise.  But that was nearly forty years ago, and wasn’t Abe Ruef sent to prison?  (Poor Abe, he was such a charming fellow!)  Things are better ordered now.  Payoffs aren’t made out of cardboard boxes.  Noting as crude as that.  So, let us listen to the opera.  San Francisco is a city of great culture, you know.  We had such a difficult time getting the people to approve the money for the Opera House.  It was only four million dollars and you’d think they did not want to build a memorial to their War Dead.  (Wonder what kind of memorial they want for the latest war?)  But they came along eventually.  Never mind the streets.  Let’s enjoy the music.”

    • #books
    • #san francisco
    • #history
    • #quote
  • 4 years ago
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Ours is a city that fancies itself so special that it demands placement in a jewel box, upon a bed of softest cotton.  A cold jewel, if it’s anything, and no one’s sure it’s real.

    • #scenic vista
    • #san francisco
  • 4 years ago
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Notes for the lonely: you will never have so many friends as when you walk Market Street with a softserve on a spitting winter’s day. 

    • #San Francisco
    • #fud
  • 5 years ago
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The Tenderloin Geographic Society

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