If you buy something really large you can get it shipped on Greyhound

It will cost next to nothing, but then will take two months to get to you.  But that’s just the problem—it doesn’t come to you.  It goes where the Greyhound goes, and if you’re in San Francisco, that’s the Transbay Terminal. 

So you walk around that museum of urine, trying desperately to get your freight, and eventually you do, glad you had the interaction with the station agents, the somnambulant security guard, and the freight manager who tells you that your package got there three days ago, good thing they didn’t send it back.

Godspeed, Transbay Terminal!