Breaking news from Civic Center: another senseless knifecrime.
Bring out your dead.
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Found: large conifer in Civic Center Plaza, responds to tinsel and lights; seems housetrained, loves attention. If he’s yours, email [email protected]. I can keep him until mid-January, after that he’s going back on the street.
Already?
Civic Center’s most precocious tree, winner of most promising early foliage award. Not worth a damn for blocking the sun yet, but soon enough.
Bizarre pagan rituals, of sacrifice and blowtorches.
The true harbinger of this season, the time of scarves and neckerchiefs upon us: the denuding of the trees of Civic Center.