Oh hello, Marlena’s. Every year, I say I hate—no, too strong, dislike is more correct— Christmas: I hate what it does to my evening wanders around Union Square; I hate what it does to shoppers, they become avaricious and wanton with their lusts (a henley for a cousin; a giftcard for the other cousin). I think I need to obtain something from a store that only exists at the intersection of crowded and busy: nope, I’ll wait until January.
Thing is, Christmas has ceased to mean stuff for me.
I don’t want anything, save a drink with friends, a home-made card, something salty and the opposite of cupcakes, the opposite of a season that thrives on forced memory and tradition. But somehow, Marlena’s manages to make it okay, their explosions of Santas like an elder bear convention, less like a mall and more like Truman Capote’s version of a holiday.
Thank you, Marlena’s. Everyone go there right now. They won’t make you a fancy drink, but it’ll be an honest drink.
Oh sir, you have outdone yourself.
When I lived on Nob Hill I’d actually ride the Cable Car there. One of the bartenders spoke of a sprinking of Caen’s ashes being interred in a plant at the end of the bar, no lie.
ABC RAIDS TOURIST BAR
Associated Press
San Francisco, CA
Monday, November 22, 2010
After a 2 a.m. sting operation, the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control has closed the Buena Vista Cafe pending further investigation. A favorite drinking spot for tourists on San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf, the Buena Vista is accused by ABC officials of marketing its signature cocktail, the Irish Coffee, to minors.
“It’s combines caffeine with alcohol,” said an ABC spokesman. “In light of the impending FDA ban on Four Loko, we must push for equal enforcement. No one is above the law.”
“Honestly, we’re shocked.” said proprietor Seamus Finn, “We’ve been making this mixture of coffee, whiskey, sugar and cream for over half a century now. There’s never been a problem. I mean, there was that time Herb Caen exposed himself, but that was over 20 years ago.”
City Attorney Dennis Herrera disagreed. “The Irish Coffee is the Joe Camel of alcoholic beverages. We should close them for blending liquor and coffee alone. But the sugar and whipped cream clearly indicates they’re marketing this cocktail to minors.”
The FDA ban “should be the nail in the coffin of these dangerous and toxic drinks,” said Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-New York) who has pushed the Obama administration to ban the beverages.
Schumer’s office put forward a recent study which showed drinkers who combine alcohol and caffeine are more likely to be injured, sexually assaulted, drive while drinking and require medical attention than those who drink caffeine-free drinks.
“Who will think of the children?” asked Lt. Gov.-elect Gavin Newsom.
Not all San Francisco’s elected officials are cheering the move. State Senator Mark Leno (D-San Francisco) said, “This is insane.” When pressed for further comment he said, “I thought this was San Francisco. When did we turn into Vacaville?”
Prominent local photographer Brizz struck a warier note. “First, they came for the Four Loko. And I did not speak up. Because I was not a Four Loko-er.”
Residents of the lower Haight were less forgiving. “I didn’t speak up because Four Loko tastes like ass,” said a local gutterpunk. “At least Sparks had faint notes of wheat — not unlike a lager,” he added. “What the fuck’s an Irish Coffee, again? Is that like Bailey’s or something?”
The Federal Trade Commission, which regulates the marketing of the drinks, declined to comment.
Despite caring a great deal, I don’t care enough to become mayor of this fine city.
But since you ask, yes, I would banish paper bags in favor of stemware on public conveyances. It’s already practically law.
Well lemme tell you brother, today is delishoussshhh.
It’s the sort of spectacle that makes you want to say “Don’t get so excited, I’ve seen bigger fires in my pants.”
A Summary of Research Findings Detailing the Root Causes of Staff Surliness at Zeitgeist: A Visual Thesis.
My 2007 pick for cocktail of the year. Prior years were largely dominated by the Irish whiskey quadrant, briefly interrupted by a strong showing from Port and sundry after-dinner quaffs.
A classic text of 1964, reprinted.
John M., professor of classics. “For years I have had to steer a perilous course between the Scylla of abstemiousness and the Charybdis of adiposity. Now, thanks to your diet, I am able to serve with a light and carefree heart meals which my colleagues qualify as Lucullan.”
Attended stalk Brock night at Jardiniere.
Basically this.
Both tend to make my head hurt.
The entrance fee is equivalent to ten of Aunt Charlie’s expertly prepared well cocktails.
Cocktail Week looks fun, but I think it’s 51 weeks shorter than it is around my house. Curiously, the Boothby Center for the Beverage Arts is opening next door to the enticingly named Medical Respite & Sobering Center.
I’ve one of these lodged in my skull this morning.
Let us imagine the museum as a historical constant, rather than an anachronism.
For sake of illustration, allow me utilize the conversation between the two tourists on the right.
Proof: Sex Pigeon and the Tenderloin Geographic Society are not the same person(s), or, one or both of us enjoys the interplay of smoky and soggy.
A question:
You have a cold, cannot sleep, and so you drink expired Wal-quil and decent rye whiskey.
If this is okay, check this box [ ]
If this is not okay, expect fewer posts.